Step Three: The next lesson>>>
After the early fourth grade fiasco and my great learning experience, the woman I had decided to watch for more information up and fucking left. It was some bullshit about her husband being transferred or something ridiculous like that. She did keep in touch for a short time, but that was not the point.
Upon return from some break or another, there was a cute little woman in the teacher's seat. Amongst ourselves, you know the brilliant mind of the 10 year-old, we decided it could not be a "regular" teacher. It obviously HAD to be a sub. So, of course, we acted accordingly. No need to go all into it here because that would just be insulting to you. I know my readers do not have have things force fed to them as it would have annoyed the hell out of me. She then told us her name and that she was to be our new teacher, Miss McCarthy. But, I had another plan.
For this to work, I just had to become a little "teacher's pet." What a wonderful thing that was to be, and you can bet your ass I used it for everything I could. Once a pet, you could get away with doing the same thing as everyone else but never pay the consequences. There were also other benefits, but I will not go in to those at this moment. In due time my lovelies. I had my little clique and I told them what we were going to do. (I wasn't the leader per se, but usually what I wanted to do was what was done because my ideas were soooooo much better and worthy of fruition than theirs.)
The first thing on my agenda was to give her a reason to trust us above everyone else. This I deemed to be the most difficult portion of the operation. It was not going to be easy to come up with something AND keep us out of harm's way from the fighter crew. We were smart, so we used them for protection while they used us for answers, you know the type. I decided we couldn't lie, because I was fresh off the proverbial slap in the face over the red hoodie incident. Therefore, we were forced to wait for the correct time. Always believe the maxim, "Good thing come to those who wait."
We had a skating party one Tuesday evening and my wishes were answered in a manner I could have never dreamt up in thousands of years. One of the fighter crew, I just named them that for the sake of not having to use names, (Names, to me, are only for people deserving of recognition and having importance. They deserved, or had, neither.) fell into her causing her to go down pretty fucking hard. Now you must keep in mind that the boy of whom I speak was a good skater and would never have fallen if it had not been for a deftly placed nudge to the bottom of his skate by my roving foot. I did not plan for things to go as badly as they did, but it all worked out for the best. Anyway, suffice it to say, my wonderful Miss McCarthy hurt her ass, literally. She was taken away by an ambulance because something in her rear nether regions hurt so badly she could not move without excruciating pain.
The following Friday, after two days having a true sub, my new target had returned. We had, on Wednesday, been told that she had broken her tailbone. The plan immediately formed in my devious little mind. I went to my co-conspirators and told them what we would do. Do not forget that I was also an very intelligent little brat. Knowing that the tailbone was at the end of the back, AND that sitting would probably cause pain, it was my contention that we should pool our meager resources and get her a cushion for her wooden chair. This was obviously before everyone had cushioned office chairs with wheels, at least in our school district. They heartily agreed. We had the gift upon her timely return.
As you may have guessed, it was very well received. From that point forward we could do no wrong. Another school year in the proverbial bag!!
Upon return from some break or another, there was a cute little woman in the teacher's seat. Amongst ourselves, you know the brilliant mind of the 10 year-old, we decided it could not be a "regular" teacher. It obviously HAD to be a sub. So, of course, we acted accordingly. No need to go all into it here because that would just be insulting to you. I know my readers do not have have things force fed to them as it would have annoyed the hell out of me. She then told us her name and that she was to be our new teacher, Miss McCarthy. But, I had another plan.
For this to work, I just had to become a little "teacher's pet." What a wonderful thing that was to be, and you can bet your ass I used it for everything I could. Once a pet, you could get away with doing the same thing as everyone else but never pay the consequences. There were also other benefits, but I will not go in to those at this moment. In due time my lovelies. I had my little clique and I told them what we were going to do. (I wasn't the leader per se, but usually what I wanted to do was what was done because my ideas were soooooo much better and worthy of fruition than theirs.)
The first thing on my agenda was to give her a reason to trust us above everyone else. This I deemed to be the most difficult portion of the operation. It was not going to be easy to come up with something AND keep us out of harm's way from the fighter crew. We were smart, so we used them for protection while they used us for answers, you know the type. I decided we couldn't lie, because I was fresh off the proverbial slap in the face over the red hoodie incident. Therefore, we were forced to wait for the correct time. Always believe the maxim, "Good thing come to those who wait."
We had a skating party one Tuesday evening and my wishes were answered in a manner I could have never dreamt up in thousands of years. One of the fighter crew, I just named them that for the sake of not having to use names, (Names, to me, are only for people deserving of recognition and having importance. They deserved, or had, neither.) fell into her causing her to go down pretty fucking hard. Now you must keep in mind that the boy of whom I speak was a good skater and would never have fallen if it had not been for a deftly placed nudge to the bottom of his skate by my roving foot. I did not plan for things to go as badly as they did, but it all worked out for the best. Anyway, suffice it to say, my wonderful Miss McCarthy hurt her ass, literally. She was taken away by an ambulance because something in her rear nether regions hurt so badly she could not move without excruciating pain.
The following Friday, after two days having a true sub, my new target had returned. We had, on Wednesday, been told that she had broken her tailbone. The plan immediately formed in my devious little mind. I went to my co-conspirators and told them what we would do. Do not forget that I was also an very intelligent little brat. Knowing that the tailbone was at the end of the back, AND that sitting would probably cause pain, it was my contention that we should pool our meager resources and get her a cushion for her wooden chair. This was obviously before everyone had cushioned office chairs with wheels, at least in our school district. They heartily agreed. We had the gift upon her timely return.
As you may have guessed, it was very well received. From that point forward we could do no wrong. Another school year in the proverbial bag!!
posted by johnathan e | 7:03 PM
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